I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
