i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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