Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
