I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Randomize
