Pappa wants mamma naked
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
