Its about making memories worth repressing
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
