For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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