Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
