3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
