my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
