I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
