Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
