This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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