Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I think I just shit out all my problems.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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