Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
she pinky promised me she was 18
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
