The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
