just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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