Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
