do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
