operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
