I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
