How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
