i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
