I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize