Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
