I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
