i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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