is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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