fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
