I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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