I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
