i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
