Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
i think im in europe. pls send help
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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