It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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