Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
