This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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