Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize