**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
