What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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