Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
