so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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