She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
