worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
