we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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