You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
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