How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize