can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
