we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
