Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize
