just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize