guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
