idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize