Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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