She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
