So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
