so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Randomize
