apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
